Kiss Virginity
by Infinite Snow
Summary: Ne, Haruhi? Have you been kissed before? [KaoHaru, KaoruxHaruhi fluff] Warning: uncomfortable and very light sexual references, borderline T


It was an annoying day for the Host Club, when the hosts had to dress up as people from the Victorian Era, Haruhi included.

The girls, much to their reluctance, agreed to leave when Kyoya not-so-gently closed the Host Club for the afternoon so he could mind his own business rather than do some stupid antics, in his view, which to Haruhi, felt a little too cruel to say out loud when some of the girls hadn't left the room yet.

"Ne, Kyoya-senpai could be a little bit more gentle…" Haruhi mumbled.

"Hmm? Fujioka san, do I hear a need to increase your debt? I mean, even though the last few months I had oh-so-generously lowered your debt, it is still fairly high," Kyoya sent Haruhi a smile that had black ominous aura surrounding him. One word rung in Haruhi's head at this moment.

Blackmail.

"No thanks, Kyoya senpai, I don't think I want to be dead more than I am. Sorry," Haruhi sweat dropped as she took her handbag and said, "I'm out."

"Wait! You can't just leave!" The twins pinned her down.

"Why not? Host club is done for today as far as I am concerned," Haruhi deadpanned.

"Aw, don't be so rough, I mean, we want our toy to talk to all of us for a little while!" Kaoru smirked.

"Yeah!" Honey was stuffing his face with cakes, not knowing the 'true' meaning behind toy.

"O-Okay," Haruhi mumbled.

"We want you to answer a question for us," Hikaru asked first.

"Okay, fine, as long as you will let me out of this suffocating grip you have on me and as long as you don't let Mori-senpai drop my mechanical pencil in the toilet and as long as my bookbag isn't ever so slightly out of my reach, then fine," Haruhi glared at the identical freaks.

"Okay, Mori-senpai, put her pencil back in her bag. She agreed."

"Okay."

Shuffling of zippers and clip pockets were heard as pencils were put in their rightful place.

"Whew, guess I won't lose my pencil for my homework tonight after all. Oh wait, I finished it today out of boredom," Haruhi deadpanned.

"I TOLD YOU, YOU CAN HAVE THIS ONE! LOOK IT HAS A TEDDY BEAR ON IT LIKE I TOLD YOU!" Tamaki shoved the mechanical pencil that had the identical head to his teddy bear in Haruhi's face, who gladly turned her head to the side to avoid the horrible sight.

"No thanks I have terrible memories when I see that sickening pencil. Are you trying to jinx me?" Haruhi deadpanned.

That did the trick and made Tamaki weep in his 'emotional corner'.

"Ne, Haruhi, you were a bit harsh on him?" Hikaru sweatdropped when the King was muttering and growing mushrooms in the corner.

"Not again! I am not paying for cleanup!" Kyoya yelled out of irritation.

"Just because I am a prole in your views I am not doing it either," Haruhi deadpanned and Kyoya relented in calling in someone to clean up the mess later.

"Tama-chan is growing a jungle! Jungle!" Honey laughed as he stuck a strawberry in his mouth and Kaoru thought how much cuter it would be if Haruhi did it instead…

_Must get dirty thoughts out of the head! _Kaoru thought to himself furiously and Hikaru nodded at him. It was apparent that the twins knew that Kaoru loved Haruhi and needed her more than his other one.

"Yeah."

"Do you think they are edible, Taka-chan?"

"No. Why?"

"I was thinking of tasting one!"

"Please don't."

"Shoot."

"Anyway…Haruhi we have a question!" Hikaru cleared his throat when he decided that if he didn't change the topic, Honey would gladly go on and on about which mushrooms were and weren't edible and plead with Mori-senpai that the ones Tamaki grew were totally edible like portabella mushrooms.

"No derr," Haruhi was growing a tick mark of frustration on her head.

"Have you kissed anyone?" Kaoru uneasily asked. The twins wanted to make sure Kaoru got her and not milord, so they wanted to research first.

"Yep," Haruhi answered without a second thought.

"HUH?!" Honey went wild.

"I mean, I kissed my mom's cheek and she kissed my forehead. My dad kisses my head when he goes for work and he begs for 'welcome home' kiss on the cheek though it is nostalgic when he cross dressed as a lady at the time," Haruhi sweat dropped when she realized they took her answer for the wrong way.

"Wow, you haven't had your first kiss?" Hikaru wondered.

"What do you mean? I just mentioned my parents, genius!"

"My twin meant the one on the lips, Einstein," Hikaru smirked smugly at Haruhi.

"Oh…uh…" Haruhi became pink at the mention of lips. She tried to recall any memories of being kissed on the lips even if it was very short, but found her kissing experience limited to cheeks, forehead, and head.

The twins crept even closer and watched with interest if Haruhi ever kissed.

_I haven't been kissed, but I wonder what it would be like with Kaoru? _Haruhi blushed slightly and looked at the anxious pair just waiting to see what her reply would be.

"Um…no…" Haruhi mumbled much to her embarrassment.

"So you are still a virgin!" Hikaru grinned and Haruhi blushed furiously because apparently no matter how dense she could be she knew what THAT word meant.

Hikaru noticed Haruhi's embarrassed expression and then mentally face-palmed himself for not being too specific to the point that he made the brunette very much embarrassed. From the corner of his eye, he saw Kaoru shooting him a light glare at publically humiliating the both of them.

"No…err…I meant kiss virginity. You haven't been kissed on your lips before. That's what I meant…" Hikaru tried his best to not panic too much or else his brother would have his head even though they love each other like brothers, that won't stop Kaoru from getting back at him.

"Oh," Haruhi breathed a sigh of relief and was mentally annoyed by the nickname of 'kiss virginity'. Absolutely an absurd nickname she heard all over the school today.

"I heard that word a lot today. Funny thing is, it was said today more than other days!" Honey grinned cutely.

"Isn't it because of today's date?" Mori senpai reminded.

"Huh? What is so special about February the 14th?" Honey asked cutely.

"That kid…" the twins face palmed.

"Um, I think what happens on that day is more important," Haruhi tried to see if something would pop up in Honey's head like a light bulb.

But apparently it didn't. When Honey stayed still with a cute blank expression on his face, Haruhi sighed.

"Honey senpai, it is Valentine's Day today. Where guys and girls show and express love for each other, remember?" Haruhi prodded.

"Oh…that existed?" Honey cutely said, making the others want to hit themselves when they really leave the club room.

"Yes, senpai, it did," Hikaru's eyebrows were twitching in annoyance.

"Let me show it for you!" a pompous voice boomed.

"Quit your mindless antics, Tamaki. You disturb me from my work with that microphone voice of yours, and I do not get my work because of you, I am dragging you to hell, got it?" Kyoya's voice.

Tamaki went over and kissed Haruhi's cheek. Her cheeks didn't flush when Tamaki kissed her cheek without her consent and her facial expressions stayed icy cold when he smothered her to his chest, when he was fantasizing in his 'inner mind theatre' about their marriage – not likely to happen.

"Milord, you're killing her," Hikaru lied, just to make his brother less jealous.

"Oopsies," Tamaki chuckled, and immediately let Haruhi out of his tight embrace but the hands were firmly planted on her shoulders.

When he saw that Hikaru was lying and Haruhi was perfectly healthy, he attempted to hug the life out of her again but Haruhi swiftly escaped his 'love' again.

"COME BACK MY PRECIOUS DAUGHTER!" Tamaki chased Haruhi around the club room.

"I never even saw you as my dad. I don't think my real one will be too happy about this," Haruhi glared at the blondie as she swiftly dodged his outstretched arms when Tamaki made a lunge for him.

To Kyoya's delight, Tamaki's rough fall caused no damage whatsoever, causing no scratches to the club budget.

"You really need to get a hold of your emotions…" Kyoya sighed.

"Mommy…"

"Yes, daddy?" Kyoya sighed in irritation and pushed his glasses up.

"Haruhi's going to lose her virginity…"

"For your information, Haruhi doesn't plan to have that much of an intimate version of PDA until after she is married. She promised her mother that, according to my records…" Kyoya tapped his keyboard until he brought up evidence, and said, "Ah, here it is."

"H-How do you have my personal records?" Haruhi sweat-dropped.

"I have my sources," Kyoya smirked and then closed the window document and resumed his work.

"I meant Kiss Virginity, mommy!" Tamaki wailed on the ground, too lazy to get up.

"Again with that stupid nickname. Who came up with it anyways? Sounds vulgar…" Haruhi mumbled to herself.

"Dunno but it really is catchy," Hikaru chuckled and his brother blushed.

"Oh, about that, I dunno. Although our daughter seems a little too dense to have one anytime soon, you never know. Nature does know how to change people's personalities for good," Kyoya shrugged and went right back to work on his laptop, ignoring the whole world after that.

"Oh, poor Tama-chan," Honey started to sniffle and Mori senpai hurriedly went to get tissues for Honey because he didn't like seeing the small blonde get teary.

"What is this, an opera house?" Haruhi analyzed the scene in front of her.

"Have you been to one?" Kaoru asked her.

"To an opera?" Haruhi asked.

Kaoru nodded, and Haruhi shrugged and said, "No, but I will say yes if you include all of THIS."

Tamaki crying dramatically on the floor, Kyoya shutting him out with an evil aura, Honey crying and choking on his cake, Mori senpai trying to day all away Honey's tears and perform CPR in case if Honey stops breathing from all the cake, and Hikaru laughing his whole head off.

And let's not forget one awkward couple standing in between it ALL.

"Wow, it is as rowdy as if the Host Club is in session," Kaoru scratched his head.

Haruhi snorted, "Tell me about it."

Haruhi noticed the wall clock and noticed it was getting late. Not that she had homework to do but she had a lot of chores to do and stuff to buy from the grocery store. She might not get it done if she stays any longer in the Host Club. She might be delayed from her plans.

"Oops, look at the time…" Haruhi mumbled and got her book bag.

Hikaru gave Kaoru a stern glance and Kaoru went up to Haruhi and said, "Want me to walk you home?"

Haruhi blushed and said, "I have an errand to do and a lot of stuff to do at home so it is all right if not today."

"No, I insist."

"Okay fine. As long as I get away from Tamaki-senpai, then you can come. You MUST keep quiet."

"Okay."

The pair slipped out and Hikaru winked at his brother. He was going to hog attention so that no one will realize the pair left already.

oOo

Haruhi and Kaoru walked to her apartment with all of the groceries in hand. Haruhi was still angry that Kaoru flashed out his credit card before she could get her money out.

"I am still guilty for making you pay," Haruhi frowned.

"I insisted. It is my job to pay, not you," Kaoru smiled at Haruhi.

Haruhi sighed and nodded when she realized that she wasn't going to get anywhere with Kaoru.

They walked all the way home and Haruhi asked, "Have you finished your homework?"

"Yep," Kaoru nodded, proudly let me say.

"Really? Even science in math?" Haruhi widened her eyes just to get onto Kaoru's nerves.

"Hey I'm not dumb all right? Just because my favorite subjects are English and History-"

"I enjoy them more than you do," Haruhi had a flash of playfulness in her jealous voice.

"-I can well manage to do Math and Science on my own," Kaoru proudly ended the lecture.

Haruhi snorted as she unlocked the door to her house, "WITHOUT Hikaru?"

Kaoru mock-glared, "Yes. Without my twin brother."

"Kudos. Now all you need is a star sticker," Haruhi rolled her eyes as she looked for her father. When she saw no traces of her cross-dressing father she saw a note on the living room table.

Picking it up, she read:

_Went to work early. I made dinner for you! I did the chores so you have to do none._

_Have fun!_

_From,_

_Daddy 3_

Haruhi sighed when she saw hearts practically decorate the note and shook her head when she knew her father won't change that habit of his. Her father doted her more than necessary and when she was little and she asked her father about it, Ranka said that he was being her 'manly father' and 'soft mother' all in one. To most children of her age, they would find it weird to have such a parent like that and would try to distance themselves from their parent as much as possible. But Haruhi, being far from normal, found it heartwarming.

Kaoru came over to where Haruhi was and said, "Something wrong?"

Haruhi chuckled and said, "No, on the contrary all I have to do is make sure my uniform is ready to go and I am set."

Kaoru smiled and said, "You have a really nice father, you know."

Haruhi blushed and said, "T-Thanks."

Kaoru blushed and said, "Were you serious when you said you never really kiss anyone on the lips?"

Normally a girl would just go into fangirl mode if they were asked about kissing experience, having kissed random guys for no reason at all. But Haruhi blushed furiously at the subject since her whole life after her mother died was just books, books, and more books. They seemed like her only friend to the top and become just like her mother, if not someone better.

"Yes."

Kaoru blushed and said, "Can I say something?"

"That is a very stupid question to ask, knowing we are the only two in this apartment, Kaoru."

Kaoru blushed furiously and then twiddled his fingers, an action that didn't go unnoticed by Haruhi herself.

"What if I said I loved a girl?" Kaoru blushed furiously again. Haruhi's heart turned into stone, but nevertheless, for Kaoru's happiness, she forced on a smile.

"Then you should tell her, before she is gone. You know, you should start looking for her," Haruhi smiled as bright as she could even though her heart felt like gluing her to the ground right then and there at the moment. She couldn't do anything more than encourage Kaoru on and do what he feels like.

"Haruhi-" Kaoru started off and was cut off.

"You know, I am telling you for the best. Thanks for your help," Haruhi was holding back tears at this point as she tried to shove the amber haired twin out the door.

"What if I gave you a clue?" Kaoru begged, and Haruhi paused and nodded, just to let Kaoru let him have his way.

"She has brown hair and brown eyes," Kaoru started, and Haruhi knew she had brown hair and brown eyes.

"She is mistaken for a boy when I first met her but she is equally lovable when she is a girl," Kaoru continued. Haruhi knew she was mistaken for a boy when she first met Kaoru but she didn't exactly think of herself as a lovable girl. More like a girl that will rip you in two with her bluntness.

"She is a commoner," Kaoru gave another hint, and Haruhi knew she was very well a commoner. To prove it, the space the rich called not even half their closet was the space she and her father lived in.

"She is blunt," Kaoru chuckled at Haruhi's blank expression and Haruhi knew her bluntness had comically hurt Tamaki several times.

"And there are so many unique descriptions I could give of this girl, but one key characteristic of this girl that really strikes me is how dense she is to my open affections and love," Kaoru now made up his mind. He would steal her first kiss.

"Kaoru, what are you talking about-" Haruhi was cut off when warm pair of lips met hers and they stayed like that for a few moments before breaking apart.

"Did you like your first kiss?" Kaoru asked Haruhi, sheepishly smiling and hoping the girl wouldn't split him in half.

Haruhi nodded, shocked and unsure of what to say.

Kaoru smiled even more and said, "Good. Because that was my first kiss as well."

Haruhi smiled and wrapped her hands around Kaoru's waist and the pair dove in for another kiss, both knowing they lost their 'Kiss Virginity' that so many girls nicknamed it at school all day long that Valentine's Day.

oOo

A/N: I had this crazy idea to come up with a whole fic about Haruhi's first kiss. But then when titling it I was going to name it 'First Kiss' when that felt too old and too sappy. I remember one fanfiction author describing first kiss as Kiss Virginity which felt really comical and not really what you are thinking about when you hear the second word. Please R&R and tell me what you think! :P


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